my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
