If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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