I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize