i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
