Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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