Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
