Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You were trust falling into bushes
Who died my cat blue again?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
