she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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