chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So squirting runs in the family.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
