One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
