fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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