craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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