it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
