Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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