R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
