I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
