So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
