We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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