Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
