he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
