shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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