We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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