I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Randomize
