i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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