I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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