Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
