I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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