just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
