You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
