She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
