Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
