About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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