I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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