Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I woke up under a house in Key West
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
