one two three fourrrrnication!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
