I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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