There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
