i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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