I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
