I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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