Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
