she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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