Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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