i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
