I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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