We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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