just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
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