My balls are so social today.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
