I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize