I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
