SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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