Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The adults are the big ones right?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize