I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
