that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
