Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
birth control should be required to get into college
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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