He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
