I can tuck mytits in my pants
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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