true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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