I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just threw up on my dentist
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
