So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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