I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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