Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
