return my video game
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
