I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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