This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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