i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
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I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
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I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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