:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
